Results and delays...

So, as you know we flew out to California last month to have my medical screening done. My coordinator at the clinic called me approx 12 days later with my results and I will be honest it was a little bit of a bummer to hear that a couple of things came up that needed to be adressed further before we could proceed. Here I am, not expecting anything to arise from it having always been "healthy" with no scares whatsoever (I'm know...I'm so boring) so this kind of caught me off guard. One of my first thoughts was that I was disappointing the guys. I didn't know how to tell them that there was going to be a delay. Should I call, text, email??? They had this big annual themed party the next night and the last thing I wanted was to disappoint them or give them any sort of bad news before that. I knew my next step was to follow up with my OB/GYN so I called to schedule an appt. It was just my luck...I got my results on Friday at noon and my dr's office closes early on Fridays. So of course now I had all weekend to be nervous and researching all I could over my first ever abnormal pap smear results and what a positive CMV panel meant, not to mention trying to figure out how to tell the guys. I was crushed so naturally they would be crushed too.

I discussed with a couple of my besties my results and asked for advice as to how and when to tell the guys and finally just sent the text. I nervously messaged them and you know what??? They responded instantly saying they had been sent the results and were anxious how to contact me as well because they knew I was probably upset. I spoke with one of the dads on the phone shortly after and there were some tears and a lot of discussion on both ends and much reassurance from him and at the end of the call we both felt instantly better and more connected then ever before. He reassured me that all would be good and that this is nothing more then a little bump in the road...a small delay. Seriously?!?!? How did I get so lucky to meet these wonderful, patient and super understanding guys? We did make a deal that we would always just call in the future anytime we needed to discuss something or had feelings about anything...no more hesitating on either side!

Of course, just as my luck would have it, I also started my cycle that weekend and couldn't schedule my appt to follow up with my dr right away. Finally, after almost 2 weeks from getting my results back I got in to see my dr to discuss my results. He looked over the results of my abnormal pap and was not concerned, but does want me to follow up with another one in December to just keep an eye on things. He said nothing there would hold me back from proceeding on with a surrogacy journey and he gave me the green light! Yay! The positive CMV isn't as easy and I was told I would need to redo my bloodwork to see if things have changed since then. Apparently CMV can be from chicken pox, mono or the herpes simplex virus (cold sores) and once in your system it will always be there and can reactivate at any given time. . Having a positive CMV IgG wasn't concerning but a positive CMV IgM (which I also had) meant that my body was currently fighting the viral funk. What is funny is that I didn't feel sick or have any symptoms at all that my body had this viral infection that it was fighting. In my research, it showed that most healthy individuals wouldn't have symptoms and that there is no real risks for having it as your body fights it off on it's own just fine.  I will always test positive (as will 50-85% of the population apparently), but I can not have a positive IgM at the time of implantation because it can cause issues with development. Due to this I need a negative IgM result before I can be medically cleared to move forward.I just went this morning and had my blood redrawn to test and we should know more mid next week whether or not my body is still fighting this infection. Fingers crossed that we get negative results next week and we can continue to move forward!!! Wish us all the luck, send prayers our way, keep us in your thoughts or whatever you feel inclined to do. There is nothing in the world that I want more then to be able to help these amazing guys become daddies and I need these results to come back negative to do so!