Is it just me or did that title make all of you start singing Christina Perri's song A Thousand Years??? (Sorry not sorry...love that song!)
It has been a couple of weeks since my last post y'all! Sorry about that, but I have quickly learned throughout this journey so far that some steps go by quickly and others require some patience and time. It's one of those hurry up and wait situations ;) Over the last couple of weeks (since matching) the guys and I have been texting, skyping and sharing pictures with each other. Getting to know them has already been such a wonderful experience and so so natural. It is a great feeling to know that conversation does not feel forced or awkward at all!
After matching I had to schedule a psychological exam. With the 4th of July and our family going out of town it took some time to find a good day for me to get this scheduled. On Friday I was able to take my test and heard back today that I have been cleared to move to the next step! Woo - hoo!
What's next???
Well, I received email today from the Fertility Clinic that it is time to schedule my medical screening. Due to me using an IUD prior to applying for this journey I need to wait 3 months from removal before I can go out for my screening. At first I was bummed because I feel like 3 months is an eternity and I know the guys have already been waiting a bit, but when I discussed it with them they assured me that 3 months was nothing in the grand scheme of things. My IP's said it best when they said " it's going to be a journey, maybe sometimes it will be quick or not, easy or hard, but it will be an amazing one"
After more thought, I remembered too that my oldest starts Kindergarten next month. This wait time allows me the chance to get her ready, ensure that I do not miss out on her meet the teacher or first day of school and can get ourselves in a steady school routine before Ian and I need to go for our 2 day trip for our med screening.
This journey is still really just taking off and already it has been such a positive and beautiful experience. I can not wait to share the next steps with y'all sooner than later :)
Happy Monday, Friends!
Monday, July 16, 2018
Tuesday, July 3, 2018
We have a MATCH!!!
What a wonderful day yesterday was! We officially matched with our IP's (Intended Parents) and I could not be happier :)
Let's back track a little bit for a second and describe the process a little...
So once you get the process of surrogacy going they ask you tons of questions. Some are easier to answer like would you be willing to pump breastmilk for the Ip's should they decide that is something they would like or how do you imagine a relationship with the family after the pregnancy and others require much more thought like how many embryos are you willing to have transferred and how you feel regarding selective reduction and termination for various reasons. I am not going to go into depth here because these are all personal decisions and really need to be given a lot of thought and consideration. You also have a social work screening which is typically a couple of hours long and it is very thorough. You go through your answers to all of the many questions and describe yourself an your family and what you are looking for in a journey. All of this information is not only used to see if you are a good fit for surrogacy, but also to build your profile for potential IP's. Once you are officially approved and move to the matching phase, your profile gets sent to Match Coordinators who use your profile as well as a few other things (like where you live) to find potential matches for you. Once a potential match is found they will email each party the other's profile to review and decide if they would like to move forward with a Skype call to "meet" and talk further.
So back to my journey... we were sent a potential match and while everything was wonderful on paper there was just a disconnect with it and a gut feeling that I could not move forward with it. Everyone was very understanding and supportive and we found a new potential match. We really liked the next profile and were open to "meeting" through a skype call, but the IP's had a personal issue arise and they needed to delay their journey :( I wasn't sure if it was normal to go through a few profiles before finding "the one" or if typically people found their match the first go around so I was feeling a little discouraged and then we got THE profile :) I quickly opened and read through it and knew immediately that everything was meant to be the way it had been and that I wanted to meet them. I probably looked at their pictures and read through their profile 1,000x that day while I was waiting for my match coordinator to tell me if they felt the same way. Finally the email came that they were excited about the potential match and a Skype "meet" was set up. This call is done just the IP's and Ian and I without anyone from the agency monitoring the call. I was really nervous about the call. Ours was scheduled for Sunday afternoon and I had to pee 3x in a matter of 15 minutes once our skype time neared. Ian was just laughing at me telling me everything would be fine (how is he always so chill and easygoing about everything?). Once the call started all my nerves went away...they were everything I had hoped for and conversation was so easy. We spoke for an hour and we all knew by the end of the call that this was a great match and we were all ready to move forward. Both parties had to notify the match coordinator to make it official and yesterday the official match came through by email <3
So what is next? Next we get all of the legal documents in order (which can usually take up to a couple of months), I need to have a psychological test done and Ian and I will fly out to California for our Medical Screenings. While all of these tasks are being completed we also use this time to get to know our IP's and for them to get to know us more too!
The guy's and I were messaging a little bit yesterday and they said they have smiled so much all day with excitment. They applied a year ago and so they are super excited to be at this point now and are so ready to become dads :) Now I just need to get the time difference nailed down so I do not text them in the middle of their night due to the time zone difference... they are 6 hours ahead of us.
I can not contain my excitment to be on this journey! It feels so good to have the process moving a long. <3
Let's back track a little bit for a second and describe the process a little...
So once you get the process of surrogacy going they ask you tons of questions. Some are easier to answer like would you be willing to pump breastmilk for the Ip's should they decide that is something they would like or how do you imagine a relationship with the family after the pregnancy and others require much more thought like how many embryos are you willing to have transferred and how you feel regarding selective reduction and termination for various reasons. I am not going to go into depth here because these are all personal decisions and really need to be given a lot of thought and consideration. You also have a social work screening which is typically a couple of hours long and it is very thorough. You go through your answers to all of the many questions and describe yourself an your family and what you are looking for in a journey. All of this information is not only used to see if you are a good fit for surrogacy, but also to build your profile for potential IP's. Once you are officially approved and move to the matching phase, your profile gets sent to Match Coordinators who use your profile as well as a few other things (like where you live) to find potential matches for you. Once a potential match is found they will email each party the other's profile to review and decide if they would like to move forward with a Skype call to "meet" and talk further.
So back to my journey... we were sent a potential match and while everything was wonderful on paper there was just a disconnect with it and a gut feeling that I could not move forward with it. Everyone was very understanding and supportive and we found a new potential match. We really liked the next profile and were open to "meeting" through a skype call, but the IP's had a personal issue arise and they needed to delay their journey :( I wasn't sure if it was normal to go through a few profiles before finding "the one" or if typically people found their match the first go around so I was feeling a little discouraged and then we got THE profile :) I quickly opened and read through it and knew immediately that everything was meant to be the way it had been and that I wanted to meet them. I probably looked at their pictures and read through their profile 1,000x that day while I was waiting for my match coordinator to tell me if they felt the same way. Finally the email came that they were excited about the potential match and a Skype "meet" was set up. This call is done just the IP's and Ian and I without anyone from the agency monitoring the call. I was really nervous about the call. Ours was scheduled for Sunday afternoon and I had to pee 3x in a matter of 15 minutes once our skype time neared. Ian was just laughing at me telling me everything would be fine (how is he always so chill and easygoing about everything?). Once the call started all my nerves went away...they were everything I had hoped for and conversation was so easy. We spoke for an hour and we all knew by the end of the call that this was a great match and we were all ready to move forward. Both parties had to notify the match coordinator to make it official and yesterday the official match came through by email <3
So what is next? Next we get all of the legal documents in order (which can usually take up to a couple of months), I need to have a psychological test done and Ian and I will fly out to California for our Medical Screenings. While all of these tasks are being completed we also use this time to get to know our IP's and for them to get to know us more too!
The guy's and I were messaging a little bit yesterday and they said they have smiled so much all day with excitment. They applied a year ago and so they are super excited to be at this point now and are so ready to become dads :) Now I just need to get the time difference nailed down so I do not text them in the middle of their night due to the time zone difference... they are 6 hours ahead of us.
I can not contain my excitment to be on this journey! It feels so good to have the process moving a long. <3
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