Why Surrogacy?

Based on the title of this blog, I am sure you all know what is going to be going on here. For those of you interested in following my story let me begin by explaining how and why I am here. Many years ago, before having children of my own, I knew I wanted to help families in some way. I had spent much of my childhood growing up in the foster care system and I was grateful for the families who took my siblings and I in and cared for us as their own. I had also been surrounded by many who have struggled with infertility, multiple miscarriages, health issues and also those who have desperately wanted a family and because of different reasons (like being in a same sex relationship) could not have one...this literally breaks my heart. My husband and I have been blessed with two beautiful, energetic, crazy little girls and we absolutely wouldn't know where we would be without them. They are the light of our lives and as much as they can drive a mama crazy and times can be stressful, I wouldn't change being their mama for the world. All I could think was how unfair it was that deserving couples who desperately want to love a child could be denied that blessing and how many struggle with the heartbreak of getting pregnant, having miscarriages etc. I could not fathom that pain.

Soon after the birth of our 2nd daughter, my husband and I had made the decision that our family was complete at two, but I also struggled with the idea that I was going to be finished being pregnant. I loved my pregnancies. I was in awe of the changes my body had made and the tiny human being my body nurtured and grew. While pregnancy isn't always sunshine and rainbows and it has it moments of being uncomfortable and in pain, my pregnancies were enjoyable over all. I found myself telling my husband that I was not done being pregnant. He just looked at me (the way he always does when I tell him of my crazy ideas and plans) and said "I'm happy and done at 2." In my mind I was content and at peace with the thought of only my 2 daughters too, but my heart begged me to be pregnant again. (I know how weird that may sound). For many years, even well before I had children of my own, I had thought of being a gestational carrier/surrogate. I wanted to help make families. Happy, loving, nurturing families. My mother had 7 children (with very little struggles) and then chose to not care for us and to choose the man in her life instead. I never understood her decisions and even more so since having my girls could understand how she could walk away from her 7 babies like that. I have always said that the most deserving couples are the ones that seem to struggle with so much heartache creating their families and then here was my biological mother just abusing that gift. While I do not like to admit that I got anything from my mother, I must admit that being pregnant agrees with my body and instead of just coming to terms with the fact that we are finished with our family, I have decided to use my body to grow a baby for a deserving couple.  Ian has known about my desire to be a surrogate for a very long time and has been the absolute most supportive husband. He has been there for every step of the process thus far and is super excited about the journey too!

With that said, Ian and I have been through the application process, the pre medical screening, our social work screenings and are currently in the matching process to make a deserving couple a family. We still have a long road ahead and this blog is a way for me to share our journey and our story along the way. We have our family's and closest friends love and support and I hope you will follow along on our journey with us!